Speaking Freely

"And that's when I knew I had transcended the peanut butter and jelly sandwich over to the Boston Celtics."
-Kevin Garnett tonight on ABC sports commenting on Ray Allen's adoption of Garnett's pre-game PB&J snack.

Garnett, God bless him, but I think he meant "transferred", "transported" even. He's still better than Jordan and certainly, an improvement over Magic "he thowed the ball" Johnson. I'd be willing to tutor NBA basketball players. I think I have unique insight as a recidivist and self-aware malapropper. I'd charge reasonable rates. I think speech coaches, or better yet a finishing school for athletic overachievers, are a much more valuable investment than Zegna suits for the league's image. I imagine even the athletes with sensible parents were so preternaturally successful as to preclude home training. Now, all I need is an audience with David Stern.

And I'm ecstatic over the Celtic victory. Who would have ever thought, late eighties/early nineties Lakers fan that I and my fam was, that I would ever root for the Celtics. Blame it on Kobe.