So Sun is my b-day and I don't know what to do. I don't know what I want or rather I want/need a lot of things and can't figure out what I want more so I haven't communicated nan pref. to my fam (my dad would call this the paralysis of analysis) and I get super duper depressed when people get me shit I don't like 'cause then I feel grossly misunderstood or worthless. Worse still, I cloak this malaise to make people feel better and that's just plain arduous. A friend from college shares the same b-day and is doing drinks on Sunday. I don't know if I'll go. Two groups of friends are bbqing Mon. but I don't know if I'll roll to either although they both sound fun. If not for Facebook, I figure most people would forget it except for a tried and true few who reliably text and ring e'ry year, often at the stroke of midnight. We'll see. I can't say that I've ever been super jazzed about my b-day but I don't recall being this melancholic. I mean the best gift would be a new venture that I won't specify but that I have attempted to make real in the past two months. I don't so much want a gift but a yes instead of a no. Seriously. World, don't let me down. In Jesus' Name. Amen.