Tears of a clown

I'm back baby. I almost cried last night as I lay in my momma's bed watching The Terminal (surprisingly good). I didn't want to leave my mama or my sis for that matter. I used to cry every time I boarded a plane. I bet you would have never guessed that little known fact. Few people know what a sensitive grown ass woman I really am. I cry at the drop of a hat but I'm really good at not being seen, blending into the background or as I fearfully complained to Moya 'being a Gayle to everybody else's Oprah.' At the end of each Christmas holiday or summer break, the impending transpacific or transcontinental flight would momentarily overwhelm me or really the distance those flight created between me and my mama. As much as my mama and my sis sometime get on my nerves I really miss them when they're not around but that ain't nothin' new. I always been a mama's girl. In infancy and toddlerhood noone but my mama could hold me and she's still the most loving and phenomenal person I have ever met.

But back to the Emerald City. If I'm not mistaken it has gotten colder. I was bundled up the entire time. I got sick Christmas night. (Not Cool.) And remained sick for most of my NW stay. It's funny when I did make it out some of my fav places no longer exist. Broadway Market is a effing QFC, THE AVE has been upscaled, the Gravity Bar no longer seems to exist, nor do some fav shopping spots on the revitalized 1st ave downtown. On a positive note the perpetually closed Hillside Quickie vegan spot was for the first time in my life open when I walked by. Seattle's a lot glossier than it used to be. It's figuratively frozen forsaking it's Emerald uniqueness for the Diamond Life. In homage of the Seattle of my childhood I bought some clogs from the Wooly Mammoth on the AVE since Birk's aren't really in season and never really looked good on my feet.

Shaun and Brooke were gracious hosts as always. I spent the night at their apt. twice, the second time at their raucous New Year's eve party. All the old homies/fam were in attendance so it was really quite fresh.

We will all be reunited at Matt's July wedding and maybe partially at Mensah's graduation.

Anyway, I really don't like having a roomie. I was so annoyed to see her when I got back tonight but maybe that was beacause I waited an hour for my luggage at JFK and then the car service guy beckoned me to walk like a quarter of a mile with my 5 bags nstead of driving his car closer to me the person he was supposed to be serving with the aforementioned vehicle, and then I arrived at my elevator bldg and find out the elevator is not working and I had to lug my bags up four floors. (Not Cool.)

But I'm always cool sometimes too much so. Frozen. I want to work on that. Feigned indifference doesn't coincide with my chief 2005 goal which I text msged myself while waiting for my bags. I would tell you but this is far from a secret diary and I'm recovering from being "so self-conscious." Although I think I may have an idea what I'm doing in college.

PS-Please someone leave a muthafucking comment! If you do I'll tell you a secret.