What not to wear
Not. Sorry folks. I had to take it back to '89. I am really steamed. Well I'm not really mad but if I was one to get caught up in self-desctructive outbursts, and mis-directed energy I would be angry. I just finished watching TLC's What Not to Wear's 50,000 shopping spree and it was just outrageous. I should have know it was gonna be troubling from the advance hype. Ads in the New York Times, and television forecastic a mammoth fashion event with hosts Stacy and Clinton walking the city streets in custom outfits made from cold hard cash. And then I saw a commercial with the woman who had been selected for this unexpected grand gesture and she was unique, fly and surprisingly African American. (Aside: I cringe when criminals on NY1 are revealed to be African American. I gleefully squeal when black people win free stuff on TV i.e. the Oprah dream wedding. Wasn't that a tear jerker?)
Anyway, I liked her style the chunky red streak in her wild natural. The funk and orginality of the record exec's style. She was the last person I would have selected for a makeover. Then she later revealed that she had spent three paychecks on a Thierry Mugler jacket years back. What the fuck? Can a broke bitch get a makeover? Anyway as the show progresses she proves to be exceptionally savvy in the fashion department, a fact acknowledged by the ever particular style gods, Stacy and Clinton. They rifle through her wardrobe, critiquing and trashing clothes at will not because it was all ugly but mostly because although there were a lot of eye catching pieces in totality it seemed to them outlandish and a little too young. Now jbeezy don't believe in outlandish never have so I'm a little dusturbed as is the women in question but while her looming 50,000 parisian shopping spree soothed her hurt feeling, I 'm sitting on my sister's futons frustrated.
Each and every week on What Not to Wear fashion misfits, nominated by their infrequently fashion forward know it all friends, are secretly videoptaped for two weeks prior to the episode then thrust into the fire and counsel that is Stacy and Clinton's televised catty forceful fashion counsel. Each and every week Stace and Clint ask the same damn question to every simpleton on the show about their fucked up wardrobes: What were you thinking? Now they ask this to heavy girls, big bootied girls, big chested girls, really tall men, painfully insecure folk, poor folk, many of whom don't reside in the fashion capital of NYC and all have ifficuly finding clothes that they can fit, much less that are comfortable oh yeah and affordable. Why did the fat drama teacher who was on last week always wear black and elasticized cause she was fat and stretchy elastic will survive her size fluctuations and black will hide it. Why did the tall guy with the big booty always have high waters cause he can't find panst long enough with enough booty room. Why did Lisa the too blessed to me made over chick wear too young and too funky clothes, to attract the attention and validation that her fled youth, growing flesh and limited pocketbooks can't secure. We'd all look better in thousand dollar apparel but since we can't afford to buy out Alfred Dunhill or make an appt at Christian Lacroix we do the best we can at Urbn Outfitters Sales, T.J. Maxx, Marsall's, Nordstrom Rack. All these people have difficulty shopping out of simple physiognomy not to mention insecurity. The struggle ain't no secret. It's easy to throw someone 50,000$ world renowned stylists, make up artists and the like and make them "beautiful." I'll have to defer to Joydrop now:
"Beautiful" from Metasexual
Anyway, I liked her style the chunky red streak in her wild natural. The funk and orginality of the record exec's style. She was the last person I would have selected for a makeover. Then she later revealed that she had spent three paychecks on a Thierry Mugler jacket years back. What the fuck? Can a broke bitch get a makeover? Anyway as the show progresses she proves to be exceptionally savvy in the fashion department, a fact acknowledged by the ever particular style gods, Stacy and Clinton. They rifle through her wardrobe, critiquing and trashing clothes at will not because it was all ugly but mostly because although there were a lot of eye catching pieces in totality it seemed to them outlandish and a little too young. Now jbeezy don't believe in outlandish never have so I'm a little dusturbed as is the women in question but while her looming 50,000 parisian shopping spree soothed her hurt feeling, I 'm sitting on my sister's futons frustrated.
Each and every week on What Not to Wear fashion misfits, nominated by their infrequently fashion forward know it all friends, are secretly videoptaped for two weeks prior to the episode then thrust into the fire and counsel that is Stacy and Clinton's televised catty forceful fashion counsel. Each and every week Stace and Clint ask the same damn question to every simpleton on the show about their fucked up wardrobes: What were you thinking? Now they ask this to heavy girls, big bootied girls, big chested girls, really tall men, painfully insecure folk, poor folk, many of whom don't reside in the fashion capital of NYC and all have ifficuly finding clothes that they can fit, much less that are comfortable oh yeah and affordable. Why did the fat drama teacher who was on last week always wear black and elasticized cause she was fat and stretchy elastic will survive her size fluctuations and black will hide it. Why did the tall guy with the big booty always have high waters cause he can't find panst long enough with enough booty room. Why did Lisa the too blessed to me made over chick wear too young and too funky clothes, to attract the attention and validation that her fled youth, growing flesh and limited pocketbooks can't secure. We'd all look better in thousand dollar apparel but since we can't afford to buy out Alfred Dunhill or make an appt at Christian Lacroix we do the best we can at Urbn Outfitters Sales, T.J. Maxx, Marsall's, Nordstrom Rack. All these people have difficulty shopping out of simple physiognomy not to mention insecurity. The struggle ain't no secret. It's easy to throw someone 50,000$ world renowned stylists, make up artists and the like and make them "beautiful." I'll have to defer to Joydrop now:
"Beautiful" from Metasexual
If I was beautiful like you
All the things I would do
Those not so blessed would be crying out murder
but I'd just laugh
and get away with it too
Like you do!
saith جليلة on 5.12.04
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