Past Paradise

Can a person think too much? I want to say no but I could be wrong. I've been wrong about a lot. And that pattern's been shaken my core. I realized this in a marathon conversation with my sis last night. I used to wear my hair short. I could never ever do that now. I used to repeatedly dive into new settings. I'm afraid now. I used to think I was intelligent and somewhat worthy but life in the big apple has taken a serious toll. I guess I have never had to deal with so much hardship, so many no's, and so little support. I miss my Mama.

Oh don't it seem to go that you don't know what it's got till its gone. There are so many people who I didn't appreciate until now. People who are the reason for the season of jah. This might me the season of nahs. The seemingly incessant winter of my discontent. Can you tell I found out I didnt get a job I was vying for? If you don't know, now you know.

Holler at a playa when you see me on the street trick! I could really use some positive energy.