mardi, janvier 25, 2005

verbal constipation

I need to write some shit down; compile my aspirations, accomplishments, favorite things, preferred foods, and everything else related to my life into a concise witty script that I promise to commit to memory and unleash at all opportune moments cause I can't EVER access that shit when I need to. I bumble, stumble, forget to conjugate and then fill in the silences with valley girlisms and expletives despite my undergraduate english major, Phi Beta Kappadom, semiprofessional scribing, and current graduate study.

In other words, I sound stupid more often than not but I promise y'all I'm not. I can't blame folks for thinking so cause if I didn't know me I might have written myself off. My anxiety about not being enough now and fear about not becoming enough later has gotten the best of my confidence. What I want I am reaching for, I can almost touch it but my hands so fucking shaky I can't get a grasp.

Pray for me!

Today's song: "Just what can happen" Blackalicious or maybe its just Gift...same difference