mardi, août 23, 2005

Woman Lose Weight

I have a headache this big and it's screaming for Ephedra.

My head ignited day before yesterday at the Summer Solstice with Court'. It took a while for it to explode and when it did it rocked my body something Wes Craven horrible. My constitution admittedly has always been weak; I’m sensitive not fainthearded. My Hamlety head malfunctions from time to time, discreetly. Nausea is a bitch; throbbing pain, a familiar foe. My mother called in the middle of it all as I bobbleheadedly marched past New York Naturals over the Subway/LIRR yard to the lair. She was worried. We hadn’t spoken in two weeks. I called her and missed her a week ago. Did not rinse and repeat to avoid diploma discussion. But I had to call her back. My pain saved me even as it had me nailed to the cross. Worry in her voice she told me to rest, “We’ll talk later.”

Everything happens for a reason and those reasons are my cursed obsession. I couldn’t attribute my helplessness to my diet (ate live, drank a few liters of water, and two mini-pots of lemon ginger tea) or restlessness (slept 7 hours two nights in a row) so as I sit here seconds after staring at new zit that has erupted on my formerly pristine complexion I am confounded as to why these things are happening to my body, my divine little haven. If one’s body doesn’t respond/react consistently logically then how can I expect the world or better yet after humming logic’s La Marseillaise for 20+ years how the hell will I deal?! In this life my biggest challenge is disappointment which when it gets down to it is about things or people being something other what I perceive or they claim to be and now it seems the world is not what I thought it to be and I’m not mad at it, just shrunken at the prospect of starting anew.

And I talk a lot about losing weight cause magazines and decades of skinny worshipping schoolmates did their job but at times like these I think it’s not such a bad thing. I may need to shed a few pounds.